As a Homeopath, Emotional Issues are significant portion of the work I do.
When a person comes to me with a serious health issue, I always ask, “When this started, what else was going on in your life?” And there’s a death, or a big conflict, or a difficult situation. We all believe that we’re big and bad. But the truth is that we’re all human, and really squishy inside.
After doing this for 10 years, this is what I see. When you’re younger, you don’t really have to deal with your emotional “stuff”. Youth is resilient. There is great power and energy in being young.
BUT, we all get older, and by the time people reach middle age, it’s rough. Severe depression, anxiety, anger. Auto-Immune disorders, chronic illness.
There’s an old saying that anger and resentment is like a cup of poison that you make for yourself every day.
Do you have a RIGHT to be angry? To be resentful of somebody that hurts you. Absolutely. You are completely justified and correct. Except that doesn’t help you at all.
One of my clients had a very bad first marriage. And it was 25+ years ago. But her anger and fury are still fresh and powerful. It’s occupying 80% of her thoughts and feelings. Her dirtbag husband? Is he hurt by this? He didn’t care 25 years ago. He sure doesn’t care now. Her living in this state of constant anger has ZERO effect on his life and happiness. In fact, if he knew that she was so miserable, he’d probably be amused by it. But her anger HAS pushed away her children, broke up relationships, and now in her early 50’s her physical health is a disaster.
How can we stop ourselves from falling into this pattern?
I’m not a counselor, and the tools that I use are Homeopathic remedies and Flower essences. Both of these are absolutely fantastic to help people deal with ongoing, or even past trauma, and hurt.
These remedies are important in helping people COPE with their feelings, and often they help people process their emotions.
It’s hard sometimes. Emotions all get tangled together, and then you become upset, you’re not even sure exactly what you’re feeling. I joke sometimes that I’m either mad at somebody, or I have indigestion.
The purpose of this note is this.
You have to deal with your stuff.
The sooner the better.
Find a healthy and positive way to let these negative emotions out. Pretending it’s not happening will only make it fester, and you’ll get physical symptoms.
But how? It’s easier to say than it is to do. Damn it. Move on? Really.
Move on. A little at a time.
As the negative thoughts wander back into your head. Realize that habits are hard to break. Then just focus on right now. What do you appreciate? What do you want more of?
If you’re having a bad day, forgive yourself. Start again tomorrow.
Every day you have the amazing ability to recreate your life.
Also, you should stay away from Vampires.
When I first heard this term, I pictured an old movie “Dracula” character.
I thought that it was the craziest, and most new-age, and dumbest thing I had ever heard.
But this is very real. There are people that exist only to suck the life out of other people. In fact, in my study of Homeopathy, they actually describe a personality type that will feed off of other people.
If you stop and think about people in your life, and how you feel after you spend time with them. I’m positive that there are some that just wear you out. Are they judgemental? Are they condesending, and nothing you say is right? Do they make you feel tired and small?
Some of them are outwardly and directly mean-spirited. At least those are easy to spot. Worse are the ones that trap you with guilt and make you feel like a bad person if you don’t give them everything they want.
And the moment you recognize this, then your only wise course of action is to minimize your exposure to them. They could be somebody in your family, or a friend, or a coworker.
None of this matters. You can’t fix them, nothing you do will ever change who and what they are.
You have to accept that they exist. Forgive them for whatever they’ve done in the past to hurt you. And slowly back away.
You can’t heal yourself, if you’re being sucked dry every day.
Often, if this person is a family member, you don’t have the option of running away. That’s ok. Then you just minimize contact, set limits, and take control of your time with them.
None if this is going to fix in one day. NO remedy is going to change your life in 5 minutes. But here’s the amazing thing. A step here, and step there, and suddenly you will find yourself miles from where you were, and in an entirely new and wonderful place.